just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
