I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
