even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
