DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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