i barfeds in our rink
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize