She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's rum buckets o'clock
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
