I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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