somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
