You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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