whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
