3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
