You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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