You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ttyl tear gas
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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