too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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