she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
