just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
