i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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