dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
