Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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