Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
