You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
