my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
