Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
