Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize