I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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