I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
