Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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