Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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