I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
