I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
