honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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