I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
