At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize