Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize