I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize