Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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