You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
