sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
