i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
