It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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