He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
