i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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