i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
