there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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