considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
