You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
