Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
