You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
