I love black thongs
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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