whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
