she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
