I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
