If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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