dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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