Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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