He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
