dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
