she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
