Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
