Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
