He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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