OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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