8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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