why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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